THINK – This week is the letter N – when is it necessary to speak? For now, I believe it is necessary to speak about how to keep love as the driver of our lives.
It is Sunday night [as I write] and I can hear the thunder and lightning as the rain moves in. The quiet between the thunder reminds me that I am struggling to rise above anger at violent pain and suffering in our world.
I have had it with violence. I have had it with hate. For my well-being, it is necessary to revive love.
I read Brené Brown’s October 9 blog Doubling Down on Love. She mentions herself as being in a personal struggle since the shootings in El Paso and Dayton. I get it. I get it totally:
“I poisoned every good thing with thoughts of potentially horrible things.” --Brené Brown
Brené went on to quote from the bell hooks book All About Love.
“Could the problem be lovelessness? Was the lovelessness of the world seeping into my life?” --bell hooks
Absolutely. I know I have allowed a numbing lovelessness to soak into my core.
Anger doesn’t even touch it.
Brené calls it out. She calls it rage.
Rage and contempt.
God-centered peace. That’s what I am striving for. Not this acid fire of rage and contempt. I have got to get this powerful poison that is overpowering me OUT OF ME. Fast.
“How precious is your unfailing love, O God.” – Psalm 36:7
I believe this. The craziness of everyday living just got to me.
Love. Kindness. Faith. Trust. Courage.
Reading further in the Doubling Down on Love article, Brown states:
“I want to nurture and protect love and kindness in myself and in others. The doubling down is going to require some changes in my life. I’m going to start with these:”
She is so right. I need to change my mindset and take care of my numbed spirit. Trust God.
Find here an abbreviated list of her 8 suggestions. The ideas and the research belong to Brené Brown:
Invite joy and grace to come into my life.
Sometimes rest. Burnout drives lovelessness.
Know myself and how I am wired. I need the opportunity to be creative.
Recognize and fall into the softness of family and friends.
Make sure anger is born of love, not justification for causing pain when I am in pain.
Recreate a love ethic in our organizations and communities.
Rekindle things with God that makes sense to me.
Live into my values and stand up for what I believe in from a place of love.
“Love, belonging, connection and joy are irreducible needs for all of us. We can’t give people what we don’t have."
We have to live love to give love.” --Brené Brown
common-woman:
“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.” –Isaiah 43:2
Through these words, I receive the reassurance that all of me is safe. That the people I love are in God’s hands. I can live love with courage and trust. When I remember to trust God, I can calm down. I will find the necessary words to speak with love.
In the midst of the frenetic pace of life, the following ideas may be helpful:
It is necessary for us to know and to remember we are worth loving ourselves and others.
When we speak, it is necessary to choose words with care. Necessary communication calls for courageous integrity and compassion. It calls for kindness.
Listening necessitates making a connection with someone. We do better when we pay close attention to what the person we are communicating with is saying. Listen not only to the words, but to the unspoken underlying message. We do our best when we really, really listen. It may save someone from being hurt from careless words.
Be authentic. Be faithful. Take time to speak. It is necessary to be aware of what is coming out of our mouths and from our hearts. Take a moment and center. Take a breath, and then respond.
Disagree respectfully. Often It is necessary to share differences to reach new understandings. New ideas and fresh perspectives encourage creativity.
Because I am able to live love, I will be better able to give love.
Brené Brown, PhD. Doubling Down on Love, blog – brenébrown.com, 9 October 2019.
hooks, bell, 1952. (2000) All about love: new visions; New York : William Morrow
“And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”-- Philippians 4:7
This is how I rekindled things with God. Your rekindling may hold a different story.
If you are so moved, please share your own rekindling experience with
We are on this journey together. Thanks for being one of the travelers.
댓글